Friday, November 2, 2012

Hospice Tour 2012 and Other Updates

So, both of my grandmothers died this summer. I blogged about Grandmommie (dad's mom) here. Six weeks later, Granny went to teach Baby Jesus about aliens and conspiracy theories. You can find more stories about Granny here and here. She was awesome--she loved Dolly Parton, alien conspiracy theories, Jesus, and salt. Possibly in that order. Anyway, both grandmothers had terminal cancer and were in hospice care for their last few weeks. Grandmommie went peacefully, holding my sister's hand. Granny hung on for a few days after they withdrew nutrition. It was hard. Really, really hard. And sad. Thankfully, my mom was there to offer some awkwardness to break the silence. Here are a couple of highlights from the 2012 Hospice Tour:

Me: "Jo, where'd you get those cute shoes?"
Jo (sister): "Lane Bryant."
Mom: "That's where all the drag queens go."

Really, Mom? All the drag queens go to Lane Bryant? I mean, don't get me wrong, I don't know every drag queen in the tri-state area, but I'm pretty sure they have better places to go than Lane Bryant. And anyway, what does my mom know about drag queens anyway? Does she even know any? I'm sure she did back in her THEATAH days (you have to say it like that), but that was a good 15 years ago, and I'm pretty sure the young queens have upped their shopping game, what with the magic of the interwebs and all. But what do I know?

Text from Mom: "Pray. There is a tornado waiting in the clouds above here."
Jo: "I'm praying that mom gets sucked up by the tornado."

This one isn't so much hilarious as it is indicative of our relationship with our mom: She is dramatic and we have no patience for it. 

Also, the weekend before our second round of hospice tours, my dad said to Jo, "Ooh, I love your Jheri Curl!" LOLWUT? She has super-curly hair and I think it was still damp, so I guess it could resemble a Jheri Curl...maybe. This was all I could think of:

In other news, I am boring. My schoolwork is taking a lot out of me this term. I'm doing an independent study of a class I'm TA-ing, so I feel like I'm doing double-work, in addition to my coursework from my other class. I'm 100% ready for a break. Thanksgiving can't get here soon enough! Oh! I'm redecorating/rearranging Magpie! I'll post a before-and-after with pics once I get it to a place where I'm happy with the way it looks. That's all I got.

Cooter scooter McGrooter.

Also, Greedy McGreedster.