Hospice Tour 2012 and Other Updates

So, both of my grandmothers died this summer. I blogged about Grandmommie (dad's mom) here. Six weeks later, Granny went to teach Baby Jesus about aliens and conspiracy theories. You can find more stories about Granny here and here. She was awesome--she loved Dolly Parton, alien conspiracy theories, Jesus, and salt. Possibly in that order. Anyway, both grandmothers had terminal cancer and were in hospice care for their last few weeks. Grandmommie went peacefully, holding my sister's hand. Granny hung on for a few days after they withdrew nutrition. It was hard. Really, really hard. And sad. Thankfully, my mom was there to offer some awkwardness to break the silence. Here are a couple of highlights from the 2012 Hospice Tour:

Me: "Jo, where'd you get those cute shoes?"
Jo (sister): "Lane Bryant."
Mom: "That's where all the drag queens go."

Really, Mom? All the drag queens go to Lane Bryant? I mean, don't get me wrong, I don't know every drag queen in the tri-state area, but I'm pretty sure they have better places to go than Lane Bryant. And anyway, what does my mom know about drag queens anyway? Does she even know any? I'm sure she did back in her THEATAH days (you have to say it like that), but that was a good 15 years ago, and I'm pretty sure the young queens have upped their shopping game, what with the magic of the interwebs and all. But what do I know?

Text from Mom: "Pray. There is a tornado waiting in the clouds above here."
Jo: "I'm praying that mom gets sucked up by the tornado."

This one isn't so much hilarious as it is indicative of our relationship with our mom: She is dramatic and we have no patience for it. 

Also, the weekend before our second round of hospice tours, my dad said to Jo, "Ooh, I love your Jheri Curl!" LOLWUT? She has super-curly hair and I think it was still damp, so I guess it could resemble a Jheri Curl...maybe. This was all I could think of:

In other news, I am boring. My schoolwork is taking a lot out of me this term. I'm doing an independent study of a class I'm TA-ing, so I feel like I'm doing double-work, in addition to my coursework from my other class. I'm 100% ready for a break. Thanksgiving can't get here soon enough! Oh! I'm redecorating/rearranging Magpie! I'll post a before-and-after with pics once I get it to a place where I'm happy with the way it looks. That's all I got.

Cooter scooter McGrooter.

Also, Greedy McGreedster.

Do this: Make a hot-ass chalkboard

 Easy and cheap (just like your mom). Just kidding (unless your mom is a hobag).

Here's what you do:
1. Go to a thrift store (Goodwill, Salvation Army, whatever weird stuff they have out West)
2. Buy an ugly piece of art with a frame you don't want to set on fire
3. Pop out ugly art (If it's stapled in, just bend back the staples without pulling them out. This is important)
4. If art is matted, turn it around--you will use the back. If it's not matted, you're good to go.
5. Get some chalkboard paint (spray or in a can). Paint several layers of chalkboard paint and let dry.
6. Pop that bitch back in the frame (bend staples back so they hold in your new chalkboard).
7. Prime the chalkboard (this is important, too). To do this, take a piece of chalk and rub it all over the chalkboard. Make sure the whole thing is covered with chalk. Then use an eraser/paper towel to wipe it off.
8. Write, draw, doodle, whatever on your chalkboard. I prefer chalkboard markers.
9. ????
10. PROFIT! (That's a South Park Underpants Gnomes reference for those of you who don't get it...)

You're done. Do this as many times as you need to fill your home with chalkboards so you sneeze on the dust and look like your hair is white when really it's brown with maybe some grey in there. Or stop when you're ahead and hang it in your office because your soul is slowly being crushed by the bureaucracy at your corporate job and you need something to remind you that you are creative and not a robot. Just me?

I plan on changing out my quote every so often. I had to start with my favorite Henry David Thoreau quote, from Walking. It actually reads, "In short, all good things are wild and free," but I like the abbreviated version.

So make this hotness. All in all, it cost me about $3.00 since I already had the chalkboard paint and chalkboard markers.

I get an F in blogging

Ummmm....yeah. My triumphant return to blogging has been...not....triumphant? Yes. I've been busy, but I don't feel like I have that much to talk about. I did not make straight A's this term, sadly. I made an A and a B+. My B was a Qualitative Research class that was pretty rigorous, and I decided I would rather enjoy my life than spend every waking moment fighting for an A. Worth it, in my mind.

Let's see, what else is new? Still enjoying the new-ish job. Still making jewelry. Still doing Magpie! That's pretty much it. Oh, Nick set the house on fire. Yes, there's that. This was a while ago. I somehow neglected to mention it in my last post. We'd had a fire, and two days later he figured the ashes were cool enough to put in the outside trash can. They weren't. The trash can caught on fire, which then caught the siding on fire, which led to me crying hysterically while some dude ran down from the park behind our house and took control (LIKE A BOSS). He grabbed our neighbor's hose, hooked it up to our house, and controlled the fire until the fire department got there. I almost wet shit my pants it was so scary. Luckily, like a phoenix rising from the ashes, we got a new side porch and a new kitchen floor out of it! Also a new kitchen window--the old one cracked and broke from the heat of the flames. I'm telling you, it was scary as hell!

Hmmm other news....I applied for the Indie Craft Parade again this year. Hoping I'll get in, but not expecting too much since I got wait-listed last year. 

Also, my grandmother (dad's mom) died on May 20th. (How's that for a Debbie Downer?) We found out in April that she had terminal pancreatic cancer, and she died the morning of the 20th with my (mostly) sweet sister holding her hand. It was sad, of course, but I'm glad she didn't suffer. She was her regular ornery self up until the very end. Janie Bell, you are missed!!

Nick was admitted to the hospital the Monday before she died. He has Crohn's Disease, BTW. Not sure if I ever mentioned that. He was in the lockup for six days, getting IV antibiotics, steroids, antifungals, anti-wormals, and a shitload of other stuff. He had a positive skin TB (that's tuberculosis for you whipper-snappers) test, so he has to take TB antibiotics for two months before he can get his IV treatment for Crohn's (Remicade). He'll have to stay on the antibiotics for 6-9 months so he doesn't actually get TB. Who even has TB nowadays??? Apparently, he was exposed to an active case at some point in time, no idea when, and once he gets Remicade, his immune system will be so suppressed that he could get the consumption (old & moldy word for TB. Don't ask me why, because I don't know.) and end up in the hospital (again) or dead. Neither of which sound like great options to me, so he's on the TB antibiotics.

Now that I look at it, we've had quite a bit of excitement in the past couple of months. Too much, I'd say.

Hearts and farts,

J

Hello

Is it me you're looking for? I can see it in your eyes. I can see it in your smile.

Just kidding I'm not Lionel Richie. It's me! I'm back from blogging hiatus, which is good, because I have A LOT going on.

I'm still in the PhD program at USC, taking 2 classes each term. I made straight As last semester. Seriously. I will post my grade report not only to prove to internet people that I really did, but because I MADE STRAIGHT A'S PEOPLE.

I got a new job. Yay! I love it so far. It's much less stress than the Ydub since I'm working on educational initiatives from a community level rather than providing direct services. I also get to wear cute clothes to work every day and not worry about getting vomit, poop, snot, drool, or any other bodily fluid on them! (If you're just tuning in, I used to work with children ages birth-5 years old, and there is a lot of contact with bodily fluids during those ages. A. Lot.)

I opened a tee-tiny little store with one of my good friends. It's called Magpie and it's freaking adorable. Click here to go to our Facebook page so you can see pictures of our little 10x10 space where we have so much fun decorating, designing, creating, and playing. We rent the space from Shinola Antiques, which is an amazing, eclectic, and crazy antique store with an owner and manager who love mid-century furniture and all things funky, macabre, and just plain weird. Click here to go to their Facebook page. Even if you don't live in the area, you should still like their page so you can see the Freaky Toy of the Day!! I only work there on Saturdays, since I have a day job, but that's the most fun day to be there anyway!

I just found out (last night at 11:00, and then I couldn't sleep for shit!) that I was chosen to be a 2012 ModCloth Style Ambassador! W00T! If you don't know what ModCloth is, we just can't be friends. Go there now and educate thyself on the fashions therein. I'm not 100% sure exactly what I'll be doing, but I'm sure it will be awesome.

I also just turned 29. I thought I would feel old and decrepit, but I don't. Well, not really. I did realize that it has been almost seven years since I graduated from college and I might have had some heart palpitations as a result, but I've mostly recovered. By the time my parents were this age they had a house, two cars, and ME. Nick and I have one car, six cats, and a guinea pig. Times sure have changed!

My sister got married last year. It was GORGEOUS. The wedding ceremony was in the Rose Garden at Furman (our alma mater), and was just for family and close friends. It was so beautiful and sweet. The reception was much larger, and was held at this great old house in Greenville (that was a funeral parlor for a while...just sayin'). It was beautiful (thanks in no small part to my amazing design sensibilities and general craft-abilities), and I got way drunker than I did at my own wedding, which is always fun. 

I think that's all the big life changes that have happened since I blogged last (April 2011? WTF me?). Holler.